Hey guys! This is my first 250 for Shelley's contest. (Which is here; http://shelleywatters.blogspot.com/2011/05/made-of-awesome-contest.html) Thanks for your comments!
It’s not my fault Hailey Demetropolis wants to punch out my teeth.
She doesn’t punch, really; like all pretty girls she prefers the roundhouse, open-hand slap. The one that’s easy to stop, and even easier to counter with my signature face jab. I call it the Nose Job. In Hailey’s case, it'll be her second. Her eyes flare as she pulls a perfectly manicured hand back. I lash out with my knuckles. Her body crumples backward, and the greenery surrounding the eleventh hole streaks red. When her head comes up, her hand is pressed over her torrentially bloody nose as her minions screech.
“You bitch!” A blonde growls.
“Look; unibrow, cameltoe, orange tan,” I point to the three of Hailey’s lackeys, “Do me a favor and put some ice on that for her. And give her the name of your plastic surgeon, okay? He’s obviously much better.”
From behind them I can see the golf course security sprinting towards me, visors bobbing. I take off running down the green.
“Stop!” The security yells. I can barely hear their voices over their panting.
“Too many Doritos, boys?” I dance around a sand trap. Women with cardigans on their shoulders and men with expensive watches all gape as my entourage and I speed towards them.
“Afternoon.” I nod breathlessly as I pass, taking one of their golf bags and throwing it to the ground before trotting into a sprint again. The security swears and maneuvers around the bulky shape.